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Funny sayings that will make you LOL
We’ve all met those people. You know the ones: No matter the situation, they’re ready with a comical quip. In fact, they seem to have a seemingly endless supply of funny sayings. Well, who says they get to have all the fun? Arm yourself with an arsenal of funny sayings so you, too, can successfully ease tension, seamlessly slide out of uncomfortable conversations and give everyone you meet a big laugh.
And yes, all sorts of funny quotes can sometimes do the trick. But there’s nothing like having some funny sayings about life top of mind and ready to use at any time. So get your pen and paper ready, because we’re rounding up some truly funny sayings. You’ll be cracking up (and thanking us) soon enough.
Funny things to say
No matter what situation you find yourself in, sometimes funny sayings are the only way to save face.
- You know what they say: Dynamite comes in small packages.
- I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.
- Why be moody when you can shake your booty?!
- Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
- Somebody said today that I’m lazy. I nearly answered him.
- I made a huge to-do list today. I just need to figure out who’s going to do it.
- It’s OK if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
- I’m not saying I’m overreacting. But there are good times and there are bad times to hand me a chainsaw.
- My brain says “crunches” but my stomach says “cupcakes.”
- Can you hear that? That’s my pillow calling, and it gets really mean if I make it wait too long.
- Could you point me to the bathroom? I have a stool appointment.
- May I please be excused? My brain is full.
- Organized people are those who are just too lazy to find their things.
Funny things to say to your parents
Even if your parents don’t have much of a sense of humor, these funny sayings are sure to tickle their funny bones.
- I’m not lazy. I’m just very relaxed.
- When people tell me, “You’re going to regret that in the morning,” I sleep until noon because I’m a problem solver.
- I don’t need a new hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
- My relationship is like an iPad. I don’t have an iPad.
- I never make the same mistake twice. I make it six or seven times, just to be sure.
- If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
- I’m not lazy. I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away—if you throw it hard enough!
- I actually sold the vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust.
- Here I am! What are your other two wishes?