Byte-Sized Computer Jokes That Deliver Big Laughs

(Photo: READER'S DIGEST, GETTY IMAGES)

Ready to throw your laptop out the window? Take a deep breath and read these hilarious computer jokes instead.

Ask anyone, and they’ll tell you that computers have completely changed the way we glare at technology and yell, “Why me?!” Having a sense of humor (and an ace IT department) can ease the frustration of system bugs, damaged hard drives, emails that disappear into the ether and other terrors of technology. And that’s exactly why you need these computer jokes in your life. The best jokes will give you something to laugh about when you want to cry because you have to clear your cache and try to remember every single one of your passwords yet again.

Ahead, connect to our collection of computer comedy, filled with funny short jokes, one-liners, knock-knock jokes and more. You’ll be the hit of the office, and better yet, you can ignore your tech woes for just a little while longer.

Funniest computer jokes

• What do you call a cat who wants to sit on you while you’re working?
  A laptop.

• Why did the computer show up late to work?
  It had a hard drive.

• Did you hear about the octopus who stopped printing?
  It ran out of ink!

• Did you hear about the raccoon who was evicted?
  It was moved to trash.

• What did the computer confess at the concert?
  “I like big bytes and I cannot lie.”

• How does a computer get drunk?
  It takes screenshots.

• Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
  To get to the other slide.

• What swashbuckling feline had to keep turning off its computer?
  Puss in Reboots.

• What do you call a sleepy little computer?
  A naptop!

• What music genre has to do with computer commands?
  Algorithm and Blues.

• Did you hear the one about the broken computer that needed a place to stay?
  It had nowhere to crash.

• What did the teacher say to the Disney insect learning to use a computer mouse?
  “Jiminy, click it!”

• Have you heard of the new band called 1023 Megabytes?
  They’re pretty good, but they don’t have a gig just yet.

• Why shouldn’t you use “beef stew” as a computer password?
  It’s not stroganoff.

• What’s the biggest lie in the entire universe?
  “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

• What did the Wall Street computer say to impress the woman at the bar?
  “You know, I have a lot of cache.”

• Why did the man get fired from his job at the keyboard factory?
  He wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

• Why did the Windows tech guy get in trouble for goofing off on a Mac?
  His jokes weren’t PC.

• What was Obi-Wan Kenobi’s advice to the Jedi with computer problems?
  “May the force-quit be with you.”

Funny programming jokes

• Did you hear about the IT guy who was falsely arrested?
  He was mainframed.

• Who do stoners call when they have computer problems?
  High-T.

• Why shouldn’t you name your boat after anything computer-related?
  It’ll have a greater chance of syncing.

• What do you get when you cross a unit of data with a female pop singer?
  A Gaga byte.

• What document format do insects use?
  Flea-DF.

• What do you call an indie rock group that sings about computers?
  An Alt-Delete band.